The art of negotiation is learned through constant practice

Negotiation requires tactics that can only be understood through constant practice. One of the tactics is learning.

Learning in this form requires studying the negotiator and knowing what he wants, why he wants it, when he wants it, and how he wants it. It’s in knowing how he will react, his patience, his temperament, and his weakness.

The art of negotiation lies in the belief that humans want to be assured that they are being understood and listened to. ~ Chris Voss, Tahl Raz

When you listen, the other party believes that you care enough, that whatever they are saying matters to you, and that you are willing to hear them out.

Becoming an effective negotiator requires mastering certain techniques

it is essential to know that assumptions hardly yield good results for any negotiation. Don’t put yourself in a position where the other party feels like they don’t have to tell you anything since you appear to know it all.

The purpose of a negotiation is to reach a conclusion that’s as safe and agreeable as possible. Assumption blinds ideas, and it’s a massive deal – breaker for any negotiation.

Instead of assumptions, you are advised to go for the hypothesis. Examine the variables and check out all the possible outcomes. Don’t be overconfident and unnecessarily bossy.

Questioning assumptions and examining all potential outcomes makes it very easy to deal with surprises. ~ Chris Voss, Tahl Raz

Calm Yourself. Humans are easily distracted, and there’s a limit to the number of thoughts the brain and mind can process at once. According to George A. Miller, a psychologist, humans can only handle about seven pieces of information in our conscious mind.

A negotiation is not a battle of arguments; you only need as much information as possible. ~ Chris Voss, Tahl Raz

One of the biggest mistakes a negotiator can make is going too fast or being impatient. The other person automatically feels that you don’t care about his position and that you might not be true to your word.

Slowing down the process creates a calm environment that allows a rapport to thrive. ~ Chris Voss, Tahl Raz

Don’t let frustration tell in your voice. Employ one of the voice tactics that’s called the late-night FM-DJ voice. This voice, when inflected in a downward way passes a message to the other guy that you’ve got it under control.

There are different types of voice tactics, though. There’s the late-night FM-DJ voice, the playful/positive voice, and the direct/assertive voice.

Mirroring or Isopraxism ― imitating someone in a way that achieves mutual comfort ― can be done using speech patterns, tone of voice, body language, and the likes. This technique works well in extracting information because by mirroring, the other party’s neurological sense unconsciously creates a bond with yours, and then they start giving out helpful information.

Finding out the problems and labeling them helps to win a negotiation

A great negotiator should be ready to understand the situation through the eyes of the other party. This helps to understand the emotions of the other party.

Tactical empathy is knowing what’s going on in the mind of the other party. It is about knowing their mental state, their feelings, as well as their emotional state and using it to start a negotiation with them.

When you observe the tone of their voice, their demeanor, their facial expressions or unconscious gestures, your brain starts to align with theirs, and you begin to see from their view. This information is the tool you need in appealing to their rational sense.

Labeling, on the other hand, is a smart way of understanding someone’s emotion by acknowledging it. This is better done when you highlight the other party’s emotional state. You have to listen, recognize and examine the possible outcome of the emotions in a situation.

Labeling works exceptionally when the other person is tense and uncomfortable. When you resonate with their fears and let them know that you understand their situation, they tend to calm down and allow you to navigate the safest conclusion to the negotiation.

Labels usually begin with these phrases:

• “It seems like...”
• “It looks like...”
• “It sounds like...”

Determine all possible outcomes of negotiations to follow the one you’ll find acceptable. ~ Chris Voss, Tahl Raz

An expert negotiator knows the true meanings of “Yes” and “No” and he doesn’t always seek a “Yes”

A conviction that “Yes” means positivity, and “No” means negativity is a wrong mentality for effective negotiation.

In fact, in negotiation, the best answer you can hope for is a no.

No is the start of a negotiation, not the end. ~ Chris Voss, Tahl Raz

“No” allows sieving what’s useful and what is not. When the other party tells you “No”, then you are automatically generating a list of things that you don’t want in the negotiation. It is a way of eliminating unnecessary elements from the necessary things.

“No” can mean a lot of things, some of which are:

• I am not interested.
• You make me feel uncomfortable.
• I don’t really understand.
• It’s beyond my financial capabilities.

there are three kinds of “Yes”.

1. Counterfeit: This is a disguised “No.” It happens when your counterpart is forced to say “Yes” while he means “No.”
2. Confirmation: This is a regular yes to regular questions. It is the kind of “Yes” attached to simple questions that don’t require the other party to lie.
3. Commitment: This is the type of “Yes” that comes after an agreement. It is like a binding of a contract. This kind of “Yes” is more like a signature at the end of a discussion that shows that both parties agree to specific terms and conditions.

There are a lot of things “No” can achieve that are alien to a lot of negotiators. Some of them are:

• “No” helps us emphasize the real issue.
• “No” gives people protection from making bad and incorrect decisions.
• “No” allows people to reflect on their choices.
• “No” gives a sense of confidence and self-assurance to someone when it comes to controlling feelings and emotions.
• “No” gives impetus to a negotiation.

Learning the power of persuasion and fairness can make a negotiation go your way

To be able to go through a negotiation and come back with a successful outcome, you need the power of persuasion, and this power is connected with the admittance of two powerful words: “That’s right.”

you have taken control of the situation by letting the other party admit that your assertions are right. At this stage, you would have eliminated some possibilities that have been rendered not useful by that statement.

To establish a conversation that would yield “That’s right,” you must be able to assemble a summary of the situation. This summary must include the label, mirror, effective pauses, tactical empathy, and a lot of techniques mentioned above. Getting to “That’s right” is better than getting to a “Yes.”

Also, you need to understand that nothing is fair. To the other party, fairness only comes into play when he’s satisfied. To you, fairness comes into play when you’re satisfied. So how do you reach an agreement with the other side?

1. Anchor their emotions by analyzing the whole situation and giving them the worst possible scenario. Play the audit accusation card and make them fear the worst if they don’t accept your side of the bargain.
2. Let the other guy go first. As much as possible, let the other guy kick-start the offer. Let your counterpart go first to counter-offer as suitable, but be careful because a very good counterpart can use that to tweak your level of fairness.
3. If at all you’re willing to go first, establish a range by using past experiences and present knowledge as reference points. That gets your message across without making the other party all defensive against your offer.
4. You can make your offer seem very reasonable to them by offering things that are important to them, but not important to you.
5. Use odd numbers to create an illusion to the other party that you’ve done a calculation and that you’re offering a number that’s in their best interests.
6. Surprise them with gifts too. Giving the other party an unrelated gift or offer has a high chance of yielding the right results. It tricks them into believing that you care about them, and subconsciously, they are willing to pay you back for the gift sooner or later.

Control the negotiation without making it obvious

Always try as much as possible to avoid negotiation during a crossfire. ~ Chris Voss, Tahl Raz

Our job as persuaders is easier than we think. It is not to get others believing what we say. It’s just to stop them unbelieving. Once we achieve that, the game is half-won. ~ Chris Voss

Suspend their unbelief by calibrating your questions. Calibrated questions yield outstanding results. Regular questions or requests tend to put you in a situation where you’ll have to owe the other side.

you are making a request, but at the same time, you’re creating an illusion for the other party that they are in control. You can suspend their unbelief by asking questions that would require them to explain themselves, rather than give yes or no answers.

Some of the calibrated questions you can use are:
• What about this is essential to you?
• How can I make this better for us?
• How would you like me to proceed?

Overseeing a plan or situation is not enough; you must make sure it is executed to fruition

Knowing the other party’s body language, tone of voice and body gestures is essential to executing a plan. ~ Chris Voss, Tahl Raz

The 7-38-55 % rule: only 7% of a message is based on voice, while 38% comes from the tone of voice, and the remaining 55% comes from the speaker’s face and body language.

Pay adequate attention to the other party’s body language, tone, and gestures, and try to see if they match their statements. This is an effective way to discern between lies and truths.

The Rule of Three: This is a tactic employed that makes the other party agree to a particular thing thrice subconsciously. It’s an efficient method that allows you to discover if a yes is counterfeit, a confirmation or a commitment.

When the other party subconsciously agrees to the same thing thrice, then there’s a considerable chance that they are telling the truth.

The Pinocchio Effect: This theory explains that liars tend to use more words than someone telling the truth, and they also tend to use more third-person pronouns to shift the truth away from them as much as possible.

Chris Discount: This is simply using your name to form a friendly atmosphere. This is a tactic that works wonders even in a tense situation. Use your name to start discussions, and your counterpart would likely go soft and be willing to interact.

Knowing the type of negotiator you’re dealing will help you get your price

When you are starting to experience a pull that you’re being forced into a bargain that doesn’t suit you, you can switch the bargain from monetary issues to a different conversation that is in line with your end of the bargain.

Ask questions like “what else would you be able to offer to make that a good price for me?” That forces your counterpart into a rethink, and his mind automatically starts trying to program a bargain that would suit both of you. As soon as things start to get tough, it is important to know the type of negotiators you would be dealing with.

There are different kinds of negotiators: the analyst, the accommodator, and the assertive. ~ Chris Voss, Tahl Raz

Asking your counterparts questions like “Why would I want to do business with you?” or “Why do you think I should do that?” is a method that makes the other party explain your position better for you. Also, the inclusion of “I” is a great way to establish a boundary without seeing offensive or confrontational.

The Ackerman Model is a systemized process that is used for offer-counteroffer situations. There are easy to remember steps as listed by the founder, Mike Ackerman.

1. Set your target price (your goal).
2. Set your first offer at 65% of your target price.
3. Calculate three raises of decreasing increments (to 85, 95, and 100 %).
4. Use lots of empathy and different ways of saying “No” to get the other side to counter before you increase your offer.
5. When calculating the final amount, use precise, non-round numbers like, say, $37,893 rather than $38,000. It gives the number of credibility and weight.
6. On your final number, throw in a non-monetary item (that they probably don’t want) to show you’re at your limit.

Always be prepared for the Black Swan

Black Swans are the unknown possibilities that look like it might never happen but can happen. ~ Chris Voss, Tahl Raz

There are three types of leverages to help you uncover the Black Swan.

1. Positive leverage: This is when you have the power to withhold or provide what the other party requests.
2. Negative leverage: This is when you can make the counterpart go through distress.
3. Normative leverage: This is when you look at the other party’s position and use it to your advantage.

Take your time to review the other party’s information and use it to settle the whole situation. ~ Chris Voss, Tahl Raz

Conclusion

Negotiations are tough and are quite unpredictable. If you are not careful enough, you’ll always feel like you’re failing, unless you grasp the patterns and follow some laid down tactics. Human beings are different, which means situations automatically differ too. You can never be too sure of an outcome, and that’s why this book is recommended across the world for people involved in investigations and negotiations.

Try this: Try as much as possible to follow described patterns, experiment with what you have learned without fear, and confidently apply personal instincts where needed.