Order, not happiness

we have become so obsessed with achieving the state of constant happiness

Striving to eliminate anything even slightly negative from our lives, we misunderstand what happiness is really about.

happiness is a nearly ephemeral occurrence that signifies our high peaks in life instead of the periods when we are not doing our absolute best.

we long for order, which means arranging our internal and external worlds to make them known and understandable.

Order’s opposite is chaos. We want to bring everything possible to escape the chaos.

Order can become excessive, and that’s not good, but chaos can swamp us, so we drown — and that is also not good. We need to stay on the straight and narrow path. ~ Jordan B. Peterson

We don’t have to pursue the order single-handedly. People who think alike can be our allies. ~ Jordan B. Peterson

Walk upright and put yourself first

Walk Upright

serotonin is the hormone responsible for posture.

The lack of this hormone results in a low level of self-confidence. Moreover, it means more pain, less happiness, a shorter life span, and more illness

Higher serotonin levels denote a higher spot in the dominance hierarchy. At the top, we feel more confident. With our confidence at its highest, we experience less misery and sickness. This hormone makes us less prone to dying. Thus, serotonin is crucial for survival.

So, pay attention to your posture. Choose to hold your shoulders high over drooping around. Be assertive, say what you believe is right. You need to realize that your desires are just as important as anyone else's. You have the right to want things for yourself. As you walk straight, your serotonin will flow with ease, making you, in turn, a more confident person.

Put Yourself First

Order and chaos. The former is the known territory, where everything is familiar and organized by you. The latter is the unknown that rests in the darkness of mystery.

Symbolically, we associate order with masculinity, as men build towns and normalize our space and time. Chaos is eternally feminine, for we are born from the unknown, which is the synonym for the possibility to become anyone.

To suffer terribly and to know yourself as the cause: that is Hell. ~ Jordan B. Peterson

spell out who you are. It is not given to us. We need to make ourselves. Refine your personality. Start now by treating yourself like someone you are responsible for helping.

Choose people who care for you and don’t compare yourself to others

Choose people who care for you

Psychologists believe that whatever irritates you about another person, you despise about yourself.

When you dare aspire upward, you reveal the inadequacy of the present and the promise of the future. ~ Jordan B. Peterson

It requires strength to surround yourself with healthy people who want the best for you. They should also be mature and self-sufficient so that you could also learn from them.

It is only appropriate to be around those whose lives will improve if yours improved. ~ Jordan B. Peterson

Don’t compare yourself to others

A small percentage of people produce pretty much of everything. ~ Jordan B. Peterson

The majority of us are not the best. We are ordinary people who shine or tarnish at times. We need to make peace with our downs; they are a common thing.

But whenever we succeed, we should compare our success to our previous history of accomplishments, not ourselves to other people.

Humans are not equal in ability or outcome, and never will be. ~ Jordan B. Peterson

When you persuade yourself that you are irrelevant, you are not doing a deep philosophical analysis but succumbing to rationalizing mind games.

Raise your children to be decent people and organize your immediate space first

Raise your children to be decent people

The most violent people are children at the age of 2. They start exploring the world and limits of what is allowed. They express their negative emotions by “fighting back:” biting, kicking, crying, and so on.

Crying out of anger is an act of dominance, and parents should treat it as such. ~ Jordan B. Peterson

A lot of new parents find discipline and punishment synonymous with tyranny and torture. The line is thin, indeed. Yet, both should be a part of a balanced upbringing, performed with exceptional care.

The following are some examples of simple rules for kids:

• Fight only in self-defense
• Don’t bully others
• Eat in moderation and be thankful for the food
• Share your things with others
• Be attentive and respectful when adults address you
• Take care of your stuff

Organize your immediate space first

Being good people does not keep us harmless. We still can fall victim to the wrongdoings of others.

We can either replicate or learn from the evil to never allow it to happen again.

When we pay insufficient attention to our space, corruption finds its way in. We should ask ourselves whether we have exhausted all our opportunities and used our potential to the fullest. If we don’t find the strength to do that, we might spiral into despair and resentment.

A hurricane is an act of God. But failure to prepare, when the necessity for preparation is well known — that's sin. ~ Jordan B. Peterson

Concentrate on what matters and stop lying

Concentrate on what matters

The model of sharing is the basis for initiating a trade. This is the symbolic form of building relationships with other people. Thus, friendship is a form of trade.

If you find yourself living in a world you don’t like, start reviewing your values. ~ Jordan B. Peterson

You might realize that holding on to current presuppositions will not make you the person you are supposed to be. Sort the meaningful from the habitual, yet harmful.

Good and evil are the attached values that come with the work of our self-consciousness.

We also tend to substitute meaning with expedience. The latter is perishable; it is a short-term solution that brings no consolation. On the other hand, the meaning is about maturity and growth; it is our ability to bring order and humility into our lives.

Stop lying

We can make up a life-lie that would feature a narrow predetermined outcome of our actions and thoughts. Life-lie follows the presupposition that there is only one unchangeable truth we should stick to.

The inability to implement your dream could lead to stress and anxiety, as you won’t be living the life you have but the life you imagine.

To tell the truth is to bring the most habitable reality into Being. ~ Jordan B. Peterson

Truth is personal, yet objective at once. It doesn’t come masked as the views and beliefs of others, nor is it an ideology. Your truth is your narrative that grows out of your unique circumstances.

Listen to others and word your thoughts carefully

Identify your personal truth, tell it to yourself, and share discreetly with others. The instant you do it, you will feel more confident because knowing our personal truth provides a solid ground underneath our feet.

Listen to others

There is a clear distinction between listening and hearing.

When we listen, we let the thoughts and ideas pass through our psyche. In the process, they might also cling to our consciousness and have it digest them.

Sometimes, it isn't easy to figure out what the other person is talking about because this is the first time they are wording their innermost thoughts. As they repeat them, some details may sound contradictory.

When a person talks about some highly charged emotional event, the utterances might come out in chunks, incoherently because they gradually choose what needs to be left unspoken.

If the conversation seems boring, you are not actually listening to it. ~ Jordan B. Peterson

When you take your time to listen carefully, people will tell you everything they are thinking, with very little deceit.

Word your thoughts carefully

Our brain makes the reality into words as long as the objects they signify are meaningful to us.

Objects and phenomena of the world are mutually connected and dependent on one another.

To extract them from the whole of reality (i.e., understand them), we need to be very accurate and precise with the verbal forms — words — we use to name them.

Careful wording helps us know and explore our limits, identify with others, and convey our thoughts most efficiently.

When the habitual world around us collapses, we find ourselves in a state of chaos. We don’t know the name for it. Therefore, we need to figure it out. Change of the familiar prompts us to act and discover new things.

When you have something to say, silence is a lie. ~ Jordan B. Peterson

Win in your own hierarchy and preserve your strength

Win in your own hierarchy

Children like the danger because it helps them become competent. When you gain your own experiences, you can keep safe.

When given the opportunity, we prefer to live on the edge. This is how we build confidence in our experiences. Moreover, most of us enjoy taking risks, as it enlivens us, making us ready for the future while still enjoying the present.

It took untold generations to get you where you are. A little gratitude might be in order. If you're going to insist on bending the world to your way, you better have your reasons. ~ Jordan B. Peterson

Boys are less agreeable, like to compete, and are more interested in things. On the contrary, girls are less independent, more empathetic, and take an interest in people over things.

Both sexes run in different hierarchies. Girls can win in both; however, when boys start to share female values, they lose among other males.

Preserve your strength

Some of the world’s biggest religions propagate limitations and suffering as the ultimate conditions for being. If we were not limited by anything (our bodies, brains, etc.), we would be everything.

Experiencing these limits involves a great deal of suffering. This last one, in turn, can be the result of illness, accident, or actions of other people. All of these circumstances are nearly impossible for us to control.

Yet, there is still another kind of suffering — suffering for the sake of suffering. Many people even derive immense pleasure in this self-inflicted torture.

Why? We tend to choose suffering over strength when we are reluctant to resolve complicated life situations.

We love people for their limitations because they shape our identities and generally define who we are. ~ Jordan B. Peterson

There are many things to be thankful for each day. As the day ends, try to enlist everything good that took place.

When you try to concentrate on the positive ones, you will see that they outweigh the nuisances. This revelation will help you preserve the strength you carry in you. Make good things happen. Pet a cat when you see one on the street.

Conclusion

No matter how far some of Peterson’s statements go from what you believe in, the bottom line for this book can be rendered in a “know thyself” maxim. When you know the truth about yourself, your truth, you can open yourself to the world.

Try this

Pick a friend who’d like to improve their listening skills and do this:

1. Choose a topic for your conversation. The more heated, the better. Perhaps, it could be the one where you disagree a bit.
2. Have your friend say his first thought on that.
3. As they are through, take time to retell this thought to them using your own words.
4. Change roles and do the same.
5. Keep going until you play out the issue.